Fake Sunscreen (& other gadgets)

smuggle sunblockAmazon has a plethora of products designed to help folks sneak alcohol into major events. From the beach to the ballet (OK, if you’re drinking at the ballet you might have a problem), these methods are foolproof. For outdoor concerts and festivals, the most bang for your buck is the sunblock bottle. For around $10 you can hold 8 oz of alcohol in this, which equates to around eight shots. To buy that many mixed drinks at a show would cost you upwards of $50.

Honorable mention products: The wine rack, tampon flasks, camouflage water bottle caps.

Lining Rip in Your Purse

Every woman has an old purse that they no longer use because of a huge rip in the lining (thanks a lot, Target!) Instead of tossing out said hippie sack, you should be utilizing this as your “concert purse.” These lining holes are perfect for sneaking nips into concerts–simply widen the rip a bit (not too wide, you don’t want it to be visible to the unknowing eye), and slide your alchy right in!

Your Bra (or your girlfriend’s bra)

Speaking of nips, both big breasted and flat chested women alike can benefit from this one. Perfect for nips of liquor and those mini bottles of wine, putting booze in your bra is a tried and true method for anybody looking to ball out on a budget. Especially because you know there isn’t a security guard on the planet who is brave enough to pat your chest down in an accusatory fashion.

Your Hoodie

A lesser-known, but arguably the most effective method, the knotting of the hoodie sleeves has enable folks to sneak in any type of alcohol that comes in a cylindrical shaped container. So, every type of alcohol. Here’s how it’s done:

photo1 (2)Step 1: Find a dark hoody, mid-level thickness. (Thick enough to disguise the fact the you are hoarding a ton of beer within it, but thin enough that you can knot the ends.)

Step 2: Knot the end of each sleeve.

Step 3: Stack the insides of the sleeves with beer, wine, whatever.

Step 4: Throw it over your shoulder as if it’s light as a feather. Try to have the sleeves behind you, hood draped in front.

If you have a bag or backpack that you’re bringing into the show, approach the security line with it already open to show how agreeable you are!

Flask Down Your Pants

People have been using flasks for years, but how long have people been shoving flasks down the front of the pants? Exactly. Security guards will often pat down your sides and your backs, but nobody is going to pat your tummy. Plus, if a woman was ever accused of having something sticking out of her waist, she could simply burst into tears: “ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?!?!” This works best if you have an oversized shirt on. Ladies, time to bust out those flowing “preggy” shirts.